Yeah, so, two relapses. One good, one bad. I'm so fucking fat. I'm disgusting. Stupid exams. So much stress, too many people whose words are a pure shot of frustration. My dad made my breakfast before I was up so I came down and it was there. Mum did the same with my tea. Come down from studying and it's there. I was torn between throwing up and crying at the sight of the food. I hate not having control over what I'm eating. Picked at it and dumped it as soon as she left the room. But I'm still so fat. Dancing on Friday, I'm so huge compared to all the others. But I'm back on track again and so excited to be back. Time to stop the madness. I don't care how good I was feeling about myself, I was in denial and I can't ignore the truth forever.
Second relapse was bad, cut again. When was the last time? Couple of weeks? Think that's one of the longest times I've ever gone but I SWORE last time was definitely the last, forever. I swear that almost every time but I meant it last time, I really did. But it's comforting when I feel crap. Anyway. I'm not going to make excuses about it.
Love, etc x
No comments:
Post a Comment